Children Are Our Future
As my 10-year old daughter sat behind the wheel of our modern-day family wagon, she approached the intersection, indicated her intent with a left turn signal, slowed to execute a safe change of direction, then proceeded onto the street, merged into the correct lane, and headed down the road. Excellent maneuver–great job!
There’s a planned, but unfinished residential neighborhood close to our house that has a completed street grid, but no houses. It’s a quiet piece of property. No traffic, extremely safe, and a perfect training ground for my future automobile driver. She’s not quite tall enough to reach the pedals, so she sits on my lap, steers the car, uses the turn signals, calls out street signs and waits patiently to pull out and merge with the imaginary traffic. We have a lot of fun. She does very well and I believe she will be an excellent driver one day.
Subaru has a cute commercial promoting one of their new vehicles (Gratuitous Subaru plug: We became new Subie owners this year and absolutely love our Outback!). The commercial has dad asking his toddler son if he wants the keys to the family car. We then zoom into the thoughts of the young lad as he envisions himself dropping dad off at work, running to the grocery store, haggling with a police officer over a parking ticket, pulling up not-quite-close-enough to the ATM, then finally sitting in a traffic jam blurting out in utter frustration, “C’mon, move it! You’re killing me!”
It’s a cute commercial. I smile every time I see it–because I’ve been in all of those situations and I feel his pain. But there’s also a scary side to this commercial that, because I’ve experienced all of those frustrations, hits a little too close to home. The scary thing is this: He knows how to react in those situations because he’s likely watched his parents time and again react the exact same way.
Think about your own experiences in the car, around the house, on the job, at the grocery store. What about the music you play or movies you watch? How about the people you hang around or your speech or mannerism? Do you act in a way you would want mimicked by your children? If you’re like me, the appropriate response is “Ouch!”
I’ve heard the phrase, “children are our future” for years, usually tossed about as a regretful admonishment. What kind of planet will we leave them? How big of a national debt will they face? It always points to a way off future when we’re no longer around. Though this line of thinking forces us to focus on a future that will be theirs to deal with, the reality is children are OUR future ; meaning, they can be the driving force behind creating a better life of our own…right here, right now.
Children look to their parents as the most trusted source of information–whether that source is good or bad; positive or negative. In their growing years, they don’t have the reasoning capacity to truly discern good outcomes from bad outcomes, so they follow the example of the people closest to them. They develop survival habits that are imprinted early on and carry those into their school years, to their soccer teams and Girl Scouts, through their college years and careers, and into their marriages and families.
Knowing then that our children are extremely likely to replicate in their own lives the behavior they see in ours, what habits in your life would you like to get rid of? What habits would you like to create? What kind of example do you want to be?
Do you want you daughter to be a great driver? Then you must start driving well. Do you want your son to be a man of upstanding character? Then you must live a life of integrity and honor. Do you want your children to be faithful to their spouse and have a fruitful marriage? Then you must do the same in your own. Whatever life you desire for your children, you must first live that life for yourself, otherwise it’s merely wishful thinking. Our children will face tremendous struggles in their lives–regardless of how they grow up. How much better then to be equipped to face and overcome those struggles because a proven model was lived out for them by their parents.
So what if your life doesn’t look like that proven model just yet? What if you didn’t grow up with a great example of excellent parenting? What if your role model was not the one you want to mimic? Then make the change now; the choice belongs to you. Eventually, as you begin to change your life to be the example and role model for your children, your life will begin to change and take on that greatness, fruitfulness, and vibrancy you so desire in your own children and you will be shaping not only their future, but your own.
Photo credit: Subaru Automotive Division/FHI
Intentions vs. Efforts
Originally Posted on Creating Success! Blog.
It is virtually impossible for you to outwardly reflect today the person you desire to be tomorrow, yet your internal reflection today determines who you will be tomorrow. –mwgrigs
Not many years ago, the ubiquity of small, silicone wristbands and their WWJD mnemonic, encouraged all who read it to contemplate, “What Would Jesus Do?” The premise being to consider your actions in comparison with how he might have acted. Taking nothing away from the Man from Nazareth, sometimes the distance and differences of culture and religion, as well as the pressures of perfection, obscure simpler, more tangible principles. In this case, understanding the power of your choices and actions today for how they influence and shape your life tomorrow.
Do you know who you want to be 5 years from now? How about 10 years? What about 20 years from now? With any hope, everyone reading this post will have envisioned a “better version” of themselves in a future that is, in all reality, just around the corner. My question for you is this: What are you choosing and doing today that will be the raw materials out of which you will fashion that “better version” of yourself? Maybe WWJD is too fanatical. Maybe it’s not the religion you ascribe to. Regardless, ask yourself, “What would my ‘better self’ do in this situation?” Then act at once and be your better self!
We have little difficulty planning ahead for the purchase of a home, charting a vacation, or anticipating the newest iPhone release. However, when it comes to planning our life we grossly underestimate the power of cause and effect and subsequently have to play catch-up, all the while lamenting, “If I had only known.” Our chief error in this line of thinking is that we believe we can cheat time, forgetting that every oak tree is a testament of the acorn “acting like the mighty oak” all of its many, many, many days.
Plan ahead. Begin to think and act today as if you were already your “better self,” and lo, 5 years, 10 years, 20 years from now, you will be that person. If you knew twenty years ago where you’d be today, how different would your decisions have been?
Believe When No One Else Will
The greatest motivational tool anyone needs is a mirror! Encourage yourself, believe your own dream, and the world will clear the way for you to do what you set out to do! –mwgrigs
Love Thy Staff
Several years ago I attended a seminar hosted by Dr. Kevin Gilmartin called, Emotional Survival for Law Enforcement. As you can imagine, several of my law enforcement peers opted not to attend because they got hung up on the word “emotional.” For them, it was too mushy and gooey a word to provide any real substance. Turns out, it was one of the most informative seminars I’ve ever attended; I truly believe everyone, not just law enforcement, can benefit from his teaching.
The English language has trigger words, like emotional, that get hijacked by our pop-culture filter, leaving us with a very narrow understanding of their meaning. The word love is another such word. We steer away from its use because of its mushy, ushy, gooeyness and end up with only a cursory understanding of its meaning and, more importantly, its power.
If you’ve read my blog posts for any length of time, you’ll know that I strongly believe leaders can be found at every level within an organization, not just within positions of authority and title. While I believe this message is beneficial for every leader in every circumstance, for the moment, allow me to direct my thoughts to those leaders who are actually in positions of authority and title, having subordinates or employees, and say: You must love your staff!
All too often we think of love in terms of emotional endearment and affection (mushy, ushy, gooeyness); a liking if you will. Therefore the statement, “Love your staff,” runs contrary to our contextual comprehension of the business environment. This is especially true when we realize that we don’t necessarily like all of our employees; and we certainly don’t like all of them all of the time. So what does it mean?
I define love, in this context, as the ability to deliberately choose right and positive actions toward a person or thing. It is a word of action, not feeling. Choosing to love, then, gives one the opportunity to supersede personal feelings and agendas and rightly relate themselves to any circumstance.
Let me explain by way of example. You have an employee who is habitually tardy. You give them a pass the first two or even three times, then they stop even attempting to get to work on time and certainly show no remorse for their tardiness. This brings their reliability into question, is unfair to their coworkers, and compromises the organizational mission—to say nothing of taking advantage of your benevolence!
There are generally two reactions to this type of behavior. The first is one of heavy-handedness, which seeks to punish the employee for flagrant policy violations—an example must be made! That reaction likely comes from bravado or false courage and does not reflect authentic leadership. The second is one of continued permissiveness, never addressing the matter directly. That reaction likely stems from fear or uncertainty and again, does not reflect authentic leadership. There is a third option, motivated by love, which is one of right action. This response points to authentic leadership, whose genesis flows from a desire to see the employee’s behavior modified in such a manner that they rightly relate themselves to policy, coworkers, and mission. In other words, it comes from a desire to see the employee do right.
Loving our employees—rightly relating to them—is easy when things are going well. When things are “broken,” however, there’s a tremendous temptation to react negatively and inject our own feelings and agendas. Authentic leaders are those who seek always to encourage others to strive to attain higher and better ways of being and doing.
Loving your staff is not about emotional feelings; rather, it is about desiring their greatest good.
Winning the Battle Between the Ears
4:30 a.m. comes very early in the morning! The alarm sounds off breaking the warm, cozy silence and dares me to hit the snooze button. Time to get up! What follows is an amazing volley of justifications and excuses for why I should stay in bed. You don’t really need to go to the gym. Who are you trying to impress anyway? It’s not like you’re training for the Olympics!
Raise your hand if you’ve had that conversation with yourself…okay, put your hands down. This is an all too common dialogue we have with ourselves, whether trying to quit smoking, learn to play the ukulele, or implementing any program aimed at tighter abdominal muscles.
One of my oldest friends is a volunteer strength and conditioning coach for a high school football team on the Mississippi Gulf Coast. While the players may think that he’s there to help them get stronger, run faster, and play harder, the real conditioning those kids are getting is one of leadership and success.
He tells his players that before they can win the battle on the field, they must win the battle between their ears—not just today, but every day. He knows that late in the fourth quarter, the mind will fabricate all kinds of reasoning and justification for quitting. Too tired. Not strong enough. They’re a better team. You can’t win. He knows the mind will spew vile thoughts of defeat, just to test your resolve and see how determined you are in achieving your goals. A few will overcome; most will succumb.
The reality of life is that the biggest challenges we face are not external, but internal. It’s overcoming the obstacles of our own thoughts. Most people’s financial problems have nothing to do with math. The majority of relationship challenges are not about Mr. or Mrs. Right. And nearly every leadership problem has the mind at its root, not lack of skill.
Winning the battle between the ears is what Steven Pressfield calls “doing the work,” in his book The War of Art. It is settling the argument in your mind and doing what needs to be done. Not just today, but every day.
“Watch your thoughts; they become words.
Watch your words; they become actions.
Watch your actions; they become habit.
Watch your habits; they become character.
Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.”
― Lao Tse
Day 3 Summary KMWorld Conference
Today signaled the end of the 2013 KMWorld Conference. It was a fantastic conference; Jane Dysart and team did a wonderful job! Today’s closing keynote speaker, Daniel Rasmus, brilliantly distilled 10 (actually 12) great lessons from Angry Birds for knowledge management practitioners (KMers). His last lesson sums up his keynote and really drives home what KMers are trying to accomplish: Repackaging something you think you have mastered forces you to challenge your assumptions about what you know and what is important.
Facilitating Organizational Change: Commitment
And so we’ve come to the end of the four stages of the change process.
This last stage is the hingepin that holds the others together. While change most certainly cannot be sustained without any of the other stages, no amount of intensity or passion in the other three can substitute for a lack of commitment to the overall process.
I read a book many years back by author Eugene Peterson called, A Long Obedience in the Same Direction. The title piqued my curiosity and what I found was a testimonial to perseverance, commitment, and endurance. These characteristics are even more meaningful when contrasted against our technology-ladened, instant-gratification societies. These traits are vital within change management as well.
Growth occurs organically, not mechanically. Change, as it mimics growth, is a marathon, not a sprint. That may sound cliché, but it’s true nonetheless and it demands that perseverance, that commitment, be the order of the day.
Understand that every member within the organization—in their own way—will test the resolve of those who desire change. This is because culture—not policy—drives behavior and motivation in the organization. This is important to note because every vision, mission statement, or executive campaign is destined for failure if it does not first acknowledge, and subsequently address, the culture.
Fear of loss, triggered by change, can lead to opposition and a kind of possessive hoarding of organizational resources, rather than a liberal outflow of them. Subsequently, if a strong enough sense of loss is felt, members will find ways—both deliberately and unintentionally—to impede and suffocate change. Commitment is the cure.
By establishing commitment early on, and by allowing it to endure repeated assaults and testing, demonstrates the resolve of those initiating change and creates new, stable pathways for individuals to advance their careers and establish familiar patterns.
To recap: change begins with acknowledgment, is gauged through assessment, bolstered by planning, and sustained through commitment.
The process is infinitive not linear. You must continually pass through each of these stages and realize there is likely no finite destination. After you’ve lost those 25 extra pounds, what then? After you’ve learned how to play the violin, what’s next? Once you’ve reduced your turnover, increased profitability, and improved customer satisfaction, what will your sights be set on then?
The process is never-ending. Wash, rinse, repeat!
Facilitating Organizational Change: Planning
In the last post, I spoke about the need to objectively assess both where you are currently and where you want to be in the future. I want to emphasize once more, the importance of being as objective as possible when making your assessment. Don’t allow past experiences or biases to influence your assessment; rather, let the information stand on its own.
The third stage of the change process is planning. Here, you begin to interpret your assessment and wrap context around it. What impact will this have on the organization? How long will it take to reach your goals? What will you need to get there?
Using our roadmap analogy again, if the goal is travel from Kansas City to Chicago, and your assessment finds you in Joliet, well, things are looking mighty nice. However, if you find you’re only in St. Louis, you’ve still got a long road ahead of you. The point being: without the assessment, you won’t know what needs to fit into the plan, and without the plan, the assessment is pointless.
Your plan of action must take into account both the current state of the organization (where you are) as well as the future state of the organization (where you want to be). Additionally, a sense of urgency must be conveyed.
Urgency is a nod to the first step of the process, during which the necessity for change is acknowledged. Without a sense of urgency, the corporate economic value of the need for change plunges significantly. The caveat is to convey a sense of urgency, not haste.
Haste makes waste is an axiom. As I mentioned previously, you will discover trouble spots that almost beg for your immediate attention. Exercising patience and restraint, rather than reactionary bravado, will prove more beneficial in the long run and will save both time and resources.
The planning stage has two goals: Collaboration and Solutions.
It is almost a universal fact that organizations cannot be coerced into change. A common change strategy in organizations today is that of buy-in. Yet, the concept of buy-in may be too dictatorial. What we need is collaboration.
Collaboration draws all of the stakeholders together and by definition necessitates group input and effort. Buy-in implies that the plans and strategies are not inherent; that they are external and must be adopted. Collaboration promises origination.
Collaboration asserts that the ideas for change already exist within the stakeholders and are waiting to be expressed. Where collaboration thrives, not only will that organization embrace change, it will create its own opportunities for making change a reality.
Finally, the plan of action must acknowledge the difference between people solutions and systems solutions. Failing to recognize this difference, or worse, recognizing it, but failing to handle them accordingly, is one of the major reasons organizations are unable to sustain their efforts to affect change.
People and systems must be treated differently. This is a truth that cannot be ignored. Additionally, people and systems can never be used interchangeably to solve challenges.
The primary lesson here is realizing that people solutions are not more important than systems solutions; however, they must precede any and all systems solutions.
As President Eisenhower alluded to in the above quote, flexibility is an absolute. When planning your route from Point A to Point B, you must be prepared for potholes, detours, traffic jams, and the occasional multi-car pile-up. Those challenges are never an indication that you chose the wrong route; rather, they are opportunities to demonstrate just how badly you want to reach your destination!
Day 1 Summary KMWorld Conference
The first day of the KMWorld Conference brought many great thoughts to the fore, perhaps none better than the question posed by innovation-phile Gordon Vala-Webb, who simply asked, “Are organizations dumb?” I do believe that organizations employ incredibly brilliant individuals; however, those same organizations are rarely capable of making their collective sum as brilliant as their individual parts.
Facilitating Organizational Change: Assessment
Once you’ve acknowledged that change is a necessity, the next step is assessment. It is important to understand the assessment stage is not about solutions, faultfinding, strategizing, or any one of a host of knee-jerk reactions so common among leaders and change agents.
Assessment is merely the act of “determining.” Specifically, determining where you are and where you want to be. The assessment is not inherently positive or negative—it just is what it is.
Not to put too fine of a point on it, but I really want to drive home the importance of allowing the assessment to simply provide the necessary data for making decisions and plans. Interpreting the data and finding context can be done later. What’s critical in this stage is identifying the starting and ending points.
Let’s see if I can illustrate what I mean with this example: A grown man measures 4 feet and 11 inches. Is he tall or short? If his desire is to be an NBA power forward, he will be vertically challenged to be sure. However, if his goal is to be a champion horse jockey, he’s probably sitting pretty. Until the context is provided, he’s merely 4 feet and 11 inches.
While context is vital, it’s imperative to leave it out of the equation at this point. Doing so helps you to view things objectively, which may prove in the end seeing as an asset what context might have marked as a liability.
In addition to identifying where you are and where you want to be, this is also the time for drafting your roadmap. The role of the roadmap is to identify the myriad possibilities of getting from Point A to Point B. If you want travel from Kansas City to Chicago there are numerous routes that can be taken; there are direct routes and there roundabout routes, scenic routes and speed routes, interstates and back roads. The route you choose will be determined by what you want to accomplish on your way to Point B. (Remember, the journey is just as important as the destination—perhaps in many respects even more so!)
The roadmap can only provide you with a macro view of your starting and ending points. It can tell you where to travel, but it cannot tell you how to travel; that is reserved for stage three: Planning.
The greatest challenge in the Assessment stage is exercising restraint and discipline in obtaining a truly comprehensive view of where you are and where you want to be.
While the temptation will be great, it is important not to be reactionary in this phase of the change process. It’s a mathematical certainty that problems will be revealed in specific areas, processes, or paradigms, which will clamor for—almost demand—spot adjustments; however, the root of the malady may actually exist elsewhere or deeper within the organization. Premature reactions usually have an adverse effect and are likely to cause further damage. Restraint and discipline are the order of the day.
Successful leaders exercise patience and wisdom and use the assessment stage to involve others, create buy-in, and act collectively. Only when all stakeholders are on board can you proceed into the next stage.
KMWorld 2013 Conference and Organizational Change
This week I’m off to Washington, D.C. for the KMWorld 2013 Conference. I’ll be listening to fantastic knowledge specialists share their insight on a host of topics from Digital Workplace Trends to Building Smarter Organizations. On Friday, I’ll deliver a talk on the Four Keys to Facilitating Organizational Change, or as I like to call it: Creating a Bold Culture.
Over the next four days I’m going to share thoughts on each of those four keys, exhorting you to develop a Bold Culture in your own space, be it your home, your workplace or the PTA.
Some years back, as a partner in a small business and personnel development firm, I noticed—among both our clients and organizations in general—leaders could talk a good game about the values they espoused and the kind of organizational environment they desired, but they seemed powerless to turn it into reality.
Since that time, and after many trials and errors of my own, I have identified four elemental principles necessary to affect the organizational change you want. In fact, these cardinal principles can help you affect any change, from dropping a bad habit, to learning to the play the ukulele, to any program aimed at tighter abdominal muscles. They are: Acknowledgment, Assessment, Planning, and Commitment.
Before change can begin, it must first be realized and accepted that change is necessary. Without this principle action all efforts toward change will be derailed before they get started.
Beginning is the toughest step of any endeavor, especially one whose goal is improvement. It is vital to embrace the need for change, as this will sustain you and keep you centered on your mission.
Several years ago I worked with a company that was experiencing greater than 50% turnover annually. While it’s easy to recognize the negative fiscal impact this had, the effect it had on morale and organizational culture, though harder to quantify, was just as substantial.
The company leaders recognized the turnover as a significant obstacle, but in their minds it was just the cost of doing business. And while they had made some cursory attempts to change, it wasn’t until they fully acknowledged the need to change that things actually started changing. Until then, their corporate culture saw no value in changing. Until then it was just an option, not a necessity.
Acknowledgment is more than simply recognizing that a problem exists. It involves intent to rectify the issue and a decision to get started…today.